When expectations are not met

Hello dear blog. It's been months...I know. This time it's not about my frustrations on the girl I loved. Fast forward a few month, surprise, surprise, we are now a couple. 4 months and 2 days to be exact.

But still this entry is going around the same keyword: Frustration. Only this time it is a different type of frustration.

Ah, the joy of having someone dear beside you. I have to admit that the feel is really different. Mind you, this is the 1st time I've actually been in a relationship. So...this is how it feels like....or not.

A pair of lovers does not always paint a rosy picture. It has its good times and bad times. Sunny weather and stormy weather. It seems that I have stepped into the realm of relationship with an expectation. On how my girlfriend should be treating me. And yes, you're guessing it right. I expect something...only not to receive it and end up with disappointment.

I mean hey, I'm not foreveralone anymore, what is there to be complained about? Hell yes, too bad there is. I have been forewarned. I must not announce this relationship. That she is not suited to be a good lover. I may end up disappointed. Yeah, she told me all these. If I know it would be coming, why should there be an entry regarding "frustrations"?

Somehow this does not sound good.A prelude to a breakup? I hope it's not. And yet, I can't help being upset, frustrated, angry and disappointed. She does not respond in conversation. Okay. She is kinda selfish.. Okay....wait, am I really okay? Why do you have to treat me like that? And when I asked, you keep on saying it's your problem, not mine. When I probed further, you get more upset than me. And that seems to be the ultimatum. I have to pujuk you again despite being upset myself. Why must you do that everytime?

It can't be helped you're tactless too. You wont come to me unless I asked for it. You dont reply my kisses. You don't wanna go out somewhere exploring new places with me.

Am I being too demanding? Am I childish? Am I a control freak?
Sometimes I think I may need a helping hand.