Tied to the apron string...of a friend

I am just like anyone else. A person who yearns for a sense of belonging. I have this good friend of mine but he is hated by most of the class. And now the worst has come true. People had been alienating him and this sort of spilled over to me...

My dear friend,

I agree that in this group of people, not everyone is worth a friend, but then I just wanna be happy and carefree.

And this applies to an upcoming tour to an island planned by them. I wanna go, but if I'm with you, will I get the chance? Even if I were to go with you, I would end up as a light bulb, and ...your cameraman. Just face it. After all those things that happened no one would be traveling with you. Probably there's another small group, which I think will eventually realize who you are. All the smile that I put on trips with you are all fake. I have been keeping this to myself. You made a trip which is suppose to relief your stress into something stressful. Not once, not twice, but thrice. The way you scream at me, using profanities, reprimanded me like a child, I felt insulted, hurt, betrayed and enraged. And yet, I put on a smile and acted as if nothing had happened.

Being your friend, it seemed that I agree with everything you said. But I am not. Because you would refuse to lose and would argue to the max, so I decided to keep my views to myself. After a recent string of events it has been evident that this friendship is getting strained. I have been hurt lately..by you. I tried my very best to ignore it and I think I sort of succeeded. But then again, because of this, I am seen as your loyal dog, or in a more polite way, your "yes man". I HATE to be labeled this way. After all, I am a person with his own ideas. No one is suppose to dictate the way I live my life.

I have been keeping my distance in order to save this friendship. Because I know you won't back off, so I'll do the dirty job. This upsoming trip will also be my opportunity. I have vowed not to go with you on graduation trip. Because I knew very well that HISTORY WOULD REPEAT ITSELF. IT DEFINITELY WILL. You will never learn, but I will.

Often a slowpoke myself, this is also another example. Where I learned that it is not easy being a person. I should have known this ages ago. But slowpoke is always still slowpoke. Sigh..

"XXX will always be XXX". I guess your friends must have realized it and have given up on you. I believe it's time for me to do the same.