Butthurt?

Hi all...or rather to me. Here I am again after a short hiatus. Am I going to rant in this blog again? Haha. Anyway, the girl who had a crush on me for a long time is finally in a relationship....with someone else lah of course. Seeing that news on facebook, I felt kinda hurt. But why am I feeling this? To be honest, I have never fallen for her since we 1st met online.

You see, she's the one who made moves and advances to me...and yet I didn't respond. She had allegedly rejected two guys and never failed to inform me about it; she got mad and jealous when I asked her opinion about what to buy for my junior's birthday (yes, I had a crush on my junior!). And when she finally wanted me to confirm my feelings for her last year, I lied and said I had feelings for her too but I gave a lame excuse...saying that it wasn't the right time. I did pondered. And I'd decided that it was just me being selfish....wanted to keep her just in case I feel like starting a relationship with her. Truly a jerk am I? Sheesh...

Like how another friend of mine puts it: The lost cannot be found. That is just so true. I don't deny that she is a very nice girl. A truly honest and innocent girl. But somehow I think she's not my type...I was irritated with her for being "slow", ignorant and her other weakness. Because of this, because I expressed my exasperation she got mad and we haven't been in contact for almost a month. I was mad with her as well. It was simply an expression; I did not yell at her, I did not scold her. And you know how she responded? Cried whole night, can't sleep, etc etc in other words: tortured herself. Why so silly? I have my own ego too. That was why I decided to give her the cold shoulder. Grr.

Now that she's in a relationship...what should I do? Call her up again and start congratulating her? What will she think? That I'm trying to hurt her again? But if I don't respond, will I be seen as butthurt?

The bad thing about me is that I tend to forget things very fast. I recovered relatively fast from my father's death. For that I was really surprised myself. If that's the case, this butthurt feeling will be gone very soon.

Already 24 this year, but still single and never been kissed. Wahahaha. My "pseudorelationship" with this girl was the closest thing to a real one. Do I sound desperate for a relationship? For this I dedicate this song, sung by Jordan Chan to myself:

神啊救救我

上天会保佑我的
爱情总会来的
我在梦中一切都有
可是现实啊常常是相反的

爱她的男人很多
那我又算什么
我在雨中喝着闷酒
反正幸福对我是奢侈的

心里太清楚了
其实她不爱我
奇怪地球上怎么会没有人
看上我

神啊 救救我吧
一把年纪了
一个爱人都没有
孤独是可怜的
如果没爱过
人生是黑白的

神啊 救救我吧
一个人晃了半辈子了为什么
我这样的男人啊就快要绝种
她啦又在哪儿

心里太清楚了
其实她不爱我
奇怪地球上怎么会没有人
看上我

神啊 救救我吧
一把年纪了
一个爱人都没有
孤独是可怜的
如果没爱过
人生是黑白的

神啊 救救我吧
一个人晃了半辈子了为什么
我这样的男人啊就快要绝种
她啦又在哪儿

神啊 救救我吧
一把年纪了
一个爱人都没有
孤独是可怜的
如果没爱过
人生是黑白的

神啊 救救我吧
一个人晃了半辈子了为什么
我这样的男人啊就快要绝种
她啦又在哪儿
上帝会保佑我的